1401 ~ 1600

whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote rinses his socks with sake and his towels with teri-yaki.
7:37 AM
DarkSock said...
...what the caged bird tastes like
7:40 AM
DarkSock said...
...how to get a slinky out of your rectum. Safely.
7:41 AM
DarkSock said...
SS wipes from left to right
7:42 AM
DarkSock said...
SS thinks BVG is a brand of underwear
7:44 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote is really a Japanese maiko-doll in man-drag.
7:48 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote channeled "The Mikado" to Gilbert and Sullivan, who got confused and gave the Japanese characters Chinese names.
7:50 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote channeled "Madame Butterfly" to Puccini, then slapped Pinkerton for being a bad-ass to Butterfly.
7:53 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote IS Pinkerton's son by Butterfly, Dolore.
8:03 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote was not mean to his stepmother: he just thought bad thoughts.
8:08 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote, like Crucial, thinks being a half-breed is great fun and what defines Americans.
8:10 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote is the very definition of "hybrid vigor."
8:11 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote still has the little American flag Pinkerton gave to him to wave in the final scene of "Butterfly."
8:13 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote also has mini-flags of every other nation, and neatly lined them up on his mantel after watching back-to-back episodes of Monk one week.
8:18 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote also has mini-flags of every other nation, and neatly lined them up on his mantel after watching back-to-back episodes of Monk one week.
8:18 AM
DarkSock said...
SS stores his bacon in Maury Povich's sex diaper
8:19 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote just invented the concept of "sex diaper".
8:21 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote is the only one that can correctly spell Leonard Skinnerd.
8:23 AM
DarkSock said...
and his watch has a plasma display.
8:25 AM
DarkSock said...
Only 1080i though.
8:26 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote performs Japanese tea ceremonies with chai lattes from Starbucks.
8:26 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote could really use Plinky's prolific posting self right about now.
8:28 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote is a porn Japanese anime model.
8:29 AM
I killed a hobo said...
Sam scrote commands the dyslexics of the world to UNTIE!
8:30 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote wonders why couldn't it have been McCartney instead?
8:32 AM
Anonymous said...
I don't even think that's a mandana. I think that's a tie.
8:39 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote owns an original, douchey black silk "Okinawa" jacket with a colorful dragon embroidered on the back, which he prefers to tatts.
8:51 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
When Samurai Scrote took karate lessons, he gave his Sensei a gift tin of Sen-Sens every holiday season.It made sense.Sensei always got a kick out of it.
8:54 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote is the both the Haida and Inuit incarnation of Orca in black and white. Hott is the Grey Goose bottle made into a bar light of 60 watts of silver lame.
9:06 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote surveyed the Aleutian Islands and then coined the allusion, "No man is an island, but a few men are Aleutians."
9:17 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote's sword has a handle made of tanned, wrinkled scroteskins so that he can maintain a good grip on the shaft.
9:29 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote once acted in kabuki theatre but the noise drove him mad, inspiring him to create punk rock.
9:36 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote ate himself once and had an existential crisis.
9:38 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote's left arm is a menthol cigarette.
9:40 AM
DarkSock said...
Samurai Scrote's religion is internal combustion
9:42 AM
DarkSock said...
SS is voting for Stalin this November
9:43 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote creates ikebana with opium poppies and coca and marijuana leaves, and tells the feds to just "blow off" if they try to arrest him.
9:53 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote once made a Shinto priest giggle when he cut a loud fart during temple service.
10:04 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote told the Pope to tone down his wardrobe and become a higher conscious douche like himself.
10:12 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote told Richard Simmons to straighten up, shut up and put some clothes on. Abysmal failure. Even Samurai Scrote has his limits.
10:18 AM
Crucial Head said...
@Whoop-Di-Douche 10:18am,Heresy! Heh heh.
10:49 AM
Crucial Head said...
Okay, I got fifteen minutes to kill before visiting the shrink. And by shrink, I mean my father-in-law. Bless his dark soul.
10:50 AM
Crucial Head said...
Aaaaaannnnnddd,Samurai Scrote eats lions while running with the antelopes on the Kalahari Plains.
10:51 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote opens canned food with his eye socket.
10:51 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote never gets lost because he is omnipresent.
10:51 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote can cut diamonds with his taint.
10:53 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote is the only known super-duper delegate... he voted for Bernie Mac.
10:54 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote always knows who the villain is before Shaggy or Scooby pulls the mask off.
10:56 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote takes baths with water and toasters so he can bond with his pet eels.
10:57 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote telepathically revived me from an alcoholic stupor & commanded me to not stop shy of 50 more comments
10:58 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote says men are pigs & he is the trough of sustenance
10:59 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote removed his entire central nervous system with a plastic spork...... because Samurai Scrote never gets nervous.
10:59 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote breeds weasels to fight wolverines
10:59 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote thinks the Big 10 is an overated conference of barnyard animal fuckers
11:00 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote admitted to killing the Black Dahlia and claimed responsibility for Jack the Ripper’s victims… ... He was subsequently awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor.
11:01 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote sends a shout out to Creature for the Divisional Series triumph by his blessed Doyers.
11:02 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote runs the Statue of Liberty play by inhaling the pigskin up his ass & expelling it with enough force to destroy satellites
11:02 AM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote eats uncooked chicken and shits hamburgers.
11:04 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote uses runway models for stilts while displaying the latest in Raoule Duke neckwear on his forehead
11:04 AM
Crucial Head said...
See you blessed homosapiens later...
11:05 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote has moray eels living in his eyesockets
11:05 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote stumbled into a wolverine den & left with the taste of pfah spunk in his mouth
11:06 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote says to Crucial, if you get your head shrunk shoot for the size of a raisinhow about our blue balls, er boys croosh? had tix for todays game but Samurai Scrote led us to a win last night so I could stay home today & watch football while paying homage to him
11:10 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote just signed a book deal with Simon & Schuster
11:11 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote will now hit the talk show circuit
11:12 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote will have a threesome with Ellen & Oprah live on air
11:13 AM
creature said...
...10 feet in the air
11:13 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote gave DB1 the idea for this site
11:14 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote leads guided tours of Liz Taylors vagina
11:15 AM
creature said...
... Michael Jackson is the gate keeper
11:15 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote thinks OJ didn't do it
11:16 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote sells weed to Ricky Williams
11:17 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote invented the bong by shoving pvc up his ass & pulling it out his throat
11:19 AM
creature said...
I shoulda listened to Samurai scrote & bet on Carolina instead San Diegostupid Chargers
11:20 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote eats loan sharks & craps bookies... in piles as big as skyscrapers
11:21 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote goes to quilting bees, fucks 19 old ladies, giving each one multiple orgasms
11:23 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote then goes to the barber shop & does the same thing to old men
11:24 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote plays 36 holes of golf a day gripping the clubs with his anus
11:25 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scote taught Arnold Palmer how to putt... using his Pecker
11:26 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote knew Minnesota Fats when he was St. Paul Stickboy
11:27 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote has sharticles of razor blades composed of titanium & wombat spleens
11:29 AM
creature said...
Samurai scrote lays pipe in Alaska that can move 700 billion barrels a day while simultaneously making Sarah Palin wink & smile
11:31 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote knitted a shidle for Sarah Palin out of his merkin
11:32 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote once talked a crazed fan out of committing hari-kari before Harry Carey at a Cubs game.
11:33 AM
creature said...
... she wears it as backhair
11:33 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote can palm basketballs with his feet while bowling with his cock as he juggle flaming marmots
11:35 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote could win the president election, but doesn't want to go backwards
11:36 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote could broker peace in the middle east... but doesn't see any fun in it
11:38 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrotes thurs card game is with Yasser Arafat, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussien, Tojo, Josef Menghala & tiny Tim
11:41 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote joined the mile high club with Kathy Bates
11:42 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrotes dick looks like a giant kraken
11:43 AM
creature said...
... with it he can bung poon 8 cabin boys at once
11:44 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote plays circus seal in the Miami Dolphins locker room at half time
11:45 AM
creature said...
the over/under line in Vegas for the samurai Scrote thread is 1749
11:46 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote told Napolean he could take Wellington at Waterloo, he later said it was a joke
11:47 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote doesn't cut his finger nails... he peels them off & carrys them around in his foreskin
11:50 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote walks into convenience stores, pulls out a bra, and announces, "This is a hold-up!" just to tease the clerks.
11:53 AM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote knows more than Carnac the Magnificent but prefers not to keep it in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch.
11:59 AM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote carries sheets of acid in his dome wrap
12:02 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote says don't call the creatch on his cell phone, it breaks his rhythm
12:03 PM
creature said...
... so does spell check
12:03 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote killed Bambi
12:04 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote showed Missouri the "me" and Missouri quickly showed him the way out.
12:05 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote says money can't buy happiness but will buy scads of pillipina hookers & indo pegboys
12:06 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote thinks that whale blubber makes excellent ass lube... but likes glass shards, gravel & otter bladder excrete better
12:07 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote resurrected Bambi in a higher state of consciousness brought on by weeping children.
12:08 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote lances boils on Mickey Rourke's ass with blunted porcupine spines
12:10 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote wears jellyfish as a nitecap
12:10 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote started a douchebag factory and quickly discovered they could also be used as hot water bottles.
12:11 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote puts a box of tacks in each shoe to keep his edge
12:12 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote will get more pussy as a result of this thread than Wilt Chamberlain at a joy division reunion
12:13 PM
Crucial Head said...
When the Little Engine That Could got half way to the top of the mountain, it saw Samurai Scrote and packed his shit up and went home.
12:28 PM
Crucial Head said...
From the Bronze Age to the Age of Enlightenment to the Information Age; ALL were presided over by the Samurai Scrote Age.
12:29 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote broke Usain Bolt’s 100 meter dash record while taking a nap.
12:30 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote had a 400 amp panel installed in his abdomen so he could light his cigarettes quicker.
12:31 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote squirts Windex® out of Ashley Olsen’s transplanted vagina on his elbow.
12:31 PM
Crucial Head said...
After flying over the Metamucil® plant on a penguin he trained to fly, Samurai Scrote took a dump and clogged up New York’s sewer system.
12:32 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote was born in the sun’s core and tunneled his way out with an icicle.
12:33 PM
Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...
Out of context, but who cares. SHORT BOAT TRIBUTE
12:33 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote grows a new set of teeth every twenty four minutes… his old teeth are melted down and made into porcelain toilets.
12:34 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote sweats bacon grease from a three inch pore on his right butt cheek.
12:35 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote listened to Appetite for Destruction and then ate World War II.
12:36 PM
Crucial Head said...
Samurai Scrote fears one thing… ... Losing his front page status on HCwDB. Will DB1 hear our collective voices of reason and plant SS in the Hall of Scrote? Only Samurai Scrote knows for sure.
12:38 PM
Crucial Head said...
Good on you Adolph!
12:39 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote raises piranhas for petting zoos.
12:43 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote designed Katsura Palace and channeled Frank Lloyd Wright the design for the Imperial Hotel in Tokyo.
12:45 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote sings soprano, alto, counter-tenor, tenor and bass in an English madrigal choir all at the same time.
12:54 PM
creature said...
^ thru his asshole
12:57 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote performs castrations on promising boy-sopranos, then passes the by-product off as rocky mountain oysters.The new tenor castrati then perform "Rocky Mountain High" in celebration of their new status.
12:58 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote has a baghunter tractor beamDarkSock & Crucial hold his mass appeal
12:59 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote does calculus on his fingers
1:00 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote rides the tail of Hale Bopp nekkid while eating spumoni & gargling grape NeHi
1:02 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote grants Indian gaming right to Bingo orgys held in the folds of his ball sac
1:03 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote does the backstroke up the crack of Plinky's mommas vag
1:04 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote rehearses for choir by working his diaphragm and his Hott's diaphragm at the same time.
1:05 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote taunts drunken Samoans & keeps all his teeth
1:05 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote pays off my booky with syphilis drips from Brian Urlacher's pecker
1:07 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote made Vince Lombardi like losing
1:08 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote prepares for choir rehearsal by gargling a concoction of green tea, lemon juice, garlic and drain clog-remover.
1:09 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote holds boy scout meetings in his urethrahe smiles all day when they teach camp fires
1:12 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrotes toilet bowl is a Buzby Berkeley money shot
1:13 PM
creature said...
... & Esther Williams swims in it
1:13 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote cuts such loud farts that the entire section of men screeches, the women giggle and pee in their pants, the pianist misses a beat and the conductor falls off the dais.True story.
1:14 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote's pecker has shark teeth & when it ate in Boston they called it the big dig
1:14 PM
creature said...
The Whitehouse used to be beige before Samurai Scrote jerked off for Mary Todd Lincoln....then she lost her mind
1:17 PM
creature said...
In 1969 Samurai Scrote put a mink coat on his pecker, called it Broadway Joe, & it led the Jets to a Super Bowl victorytrue story
1:18 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote breeds giant crickets which he takes to autumn choir rehearsals and which drive everyone crazy.
1:19 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote took a dump in the Congo & they called it "rumble in the jungle"
1:20 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote invented trench warfare in WWI by pissing in a ditch
1:20 PM
creature said...
... that was also the advent of chemical warfare
1:21 PM
creature said...
...Mr. White received a congressional medal
1:22 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote breeds bullfrogs and enormous spring peepers which he sneaks into spring choir rehearsals to confound the director into thinking everone is singing offkey and out of sequence.
1:25 PM
Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...
Out of context, but who cares. SHORT BOAT TRIBUTE
1:28 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote created the Rhode Island anthracite by ingesting bituminous and lignite and then shitting hard black.
1:30 PM
Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein said...
Thanks Crucial.- Adolf Skroatler von Baggenstein
1:31 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote thinks bad karma on those who use way too much crude and not enough wit. Because he is higher conscious douche.
1:52 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote is oiled crude
2:20 PM
creature said...
Samurai Scrote thinks choir humor is real witty
2:23 PM
Doucenozzle said...
Samurai Scrote hears a deep sound comin' down from Bobby Peru
6:07 PM
Doucenozzle said...
Samuri Scrote says.. Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?
6:10 PM
Archidoucheis said...
The laws of physics do not apply to Samurai Scrote.
6:24 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote climbed K2 and "jumped" to Everest's summit in the same afternoon.....
7:59 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
.....in 1951.
7:59 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote knows the ancient Chinese secret.
7:59 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote fathered Carol Brady's daughters. And Mike Brady's sons.You knew Robert Reed was gay, right?
8:00 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote was Harvey Klinger.
8:01 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote kicked Buddy Hinton's ass after Peter paid him off.
8:02 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote wonders why I'm on a Brady Bunch kick.....
8:03 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote whipped the Redskins 74-0 in 1939. The game was called after half the first quarter.
8:03 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote invented basketball in 1869. He had some slow days.
8:06 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote caused the Great Potato Famine, and then stopped it.
8:06 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote dropped an apple on Newton's head and then giggled his muthafuckin' ass off.
8:07 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote was the inspiration for the Monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Moon-Watcher'll tell ya, too.
8:09 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote told Archie Bunker to "stifle."
8:11 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote is the original guitarist and lyricist for Kansas.
8:11 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote takes no lickin' but keeps on tickin' anyway.
8:15 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote is smarter than a fifth grader.(Why do I feel like this is a repeat?)
8:17 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote kicked Galileo Galilei's ass all the way to Galilee and back.
8:18 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote raised the billy goat that haunts silly Cub fans to this day.....
8:20 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
.....and sold the goat's kids to Steve Bartman's family.
8:21 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote thwarted Robert Goddard's first rocket launch.
8:22 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote knows when the Mongols ruled China, and then fired the Circle-K clerk who didn't answer that for Bill & Ted.
8:26 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote is really Raven trickster AKA as Blackie the Crow in the Burgess Bedtime Stories.
8:31 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Even Samurai Scrote thinks the Burger King dude is creepy. Though he doesn't mind being reverse-pickpocketed.
8:40 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote wonders why it took so long for someone to make him a video tribute.
8:41 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote thinks "Creature" and "Don't Wheeze" are pretty funny tonight and wonders what they've been drinking.
8:41 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
There's no need to fear - Samurai Scrote is here!
8:42 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Mountain Dew for me.
8:42 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
With 40,000 men and women behind him every day, Samurai Scrote has no need to Fear the Reaper.
8:44 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote's nuts swing both ways, causing the left nut to vote conservative sometimes, and the right nut to vote liberal.
8:48 PM
Archidoucheis said...
Samurai Scrote HAD AIDS....then he defeated it by going inside himself and kicking the shit out of each and ever infected white blood cell. Proving the old addage that you are you're your own best doctor.
8:48 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote told F-Rod how to pitch out of that bases-loaded jam in the bottom of the 10th.
8:56 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Samurai Scrote's teachers used to beat him with a ruler, which explains why his cock is twelve inches long.
8:57 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote: the original white meat and what's for dinner.
8:59 PM
whoop-di-douche said...
Before hooch-runners and NASCAR, there was Samurai Scrote.
8:59 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote will bring Oprah's empire tumbling down.
8:59 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote discredits "Doctor" Phil on a daily basis.Oh wait, "Doctor" Phil does that himself. Never mind.
9:00 PM
Archidoucheis said...
Samurai Scrote wanted to get into the porn industry, but he proved to be too much for any girl to handle. Including Gretchen the Heathen who once was DP'd by two bull elephants who were actually fighting each other during mating season.
9:00 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
Samurai Scrote tells Lake Superior State University which words to remove from the lexicon.
9:01 PM
Don't wheeze the douche! said...
1600